Leah BensonCan your son count toothpicks?
October 1st 2008 07:13
Facts and Statistics
1 in 150 births
1 to 1.5 million Americans
Fastest-growing developmental disability
10 - 17 % annual growth
In 10 years, the annual cost will be $200-400 billion
1 in 150 births
1 to 1.5 million Americans
Fastest-growing developmental disability
10 - 17 % annual growth
In 10 years, the annual cost will be $200-400 billion
Loneliness and grief are such clever, shape-shifting feelings. Every time you get your hands wrapped around them, it seems they drop mysteriously to the floor. So as I'm obviously not the only mother of an autistic child, why do I regularly feel like no one understands my unique heartache? At the rate things are going, there are going to be more mothers of special needs kids than of "typically developing" kids. So why does that statistic fail to make me feel any less isolated?
Why do I still feel like I'm the only one?
When I tell people that my son has autism-- even offering a brief description of what "autism" means for Max and explaining his level of functioning-- they still respond with things like: "oh, eight-years-old is such a fun age! All the new independence, their first sleep-overs... so many exciting changes... and does your son play sports?" I mean seriously: a sport?! Okay, let me think... well, does stabbing dogs and/or people with various household objects count as a sport? If so, I guess the answer is yes, yes my son plays sports. But let's get back to this mythical fun you spoke of... when does it begin again?" While wiping poop out of my hair? Or is it when I'm dragging my son kicking (hard) and screaming (loudly)? How about all those apologies given to red-faced parents after some injury my son inflicted? Is that the fun you're referring to? Wait, I got it, it must be those times when we're at McDonald's and my son, who struggles with facial recognition, approaches the wrong family looking for his food. I don't know, call me crazy, but I'm not having that much fun.
"Taking an individual with autism out into the community can be a source of stress for parents. People may stare, make comments or fail to understand any mishaps or behaviors that may occur. For example, individuals with autism have been seen taking a stranger's food right off his/her plate."
There are also the "I-know-someone-who-is-autistic" stories. That someone may be a neighbor, a nephew, a friend's golden retriever... but these are usually about "autistic" kids who are loveably cute, confusingly "normal," and most importantly, soooooooooooo smart. "Does your son have special talents," they like to ask.
"Parents of children with autism spectrum disorder are grieving the loss of the "typical" child that they expected to have. In addition, parents are grieving the loss of lifestyle that they expected for themselves and their family. The feelings of grief that parents experience can be an additional source of stress due to its ongoing nature. Current theories of grief suggest that parents of children with developmental disabilities experience episodes of grief throughout the life cycle as different events (e.g., birthdays, holidays, unending caregiving) trigger grief reactions (Worthington, 1994). Experiencing "chronic sorrow" is a psychological stressor that can be frustrating, confusing and depressing."[/
Max is not all devilishness. Conservatively, I could write a thousand blogs about about the joy he brings my life. Sitting here now, with Max sleeping like a skinny, sweaty angel, I can even laugh at the poop-in-the-hair fiasco. (After all, Joan Rivers-- during a cameo on Nip Tuck last season-- used semen-based face lotion... case closed!) I suppose that I don't write as many rose-garden blogs because when it comes to happy stuff, I don't need to exorcise my demons. On the other hand, one could argue that there is simply a hell of a lot more fodder for frustratioan-based blogs. I guess I'll let you be the judge.
2003, 2006 Copyright Autism Society of America. All rights reserved.
Based on prevalence statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2007).
Based on the autism prevalence rate of 2 to 6 per 1,000 (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2001) and 2000 U.S. Census figure of 280 million Americans.
Jarbrink K, Knapp M, 2001, London School of Economics study: "The economic impact on autism in Britain," 5 (1): 7-22.
ASA calculates that the annual cost of autism will increase to $200-400 billion in 10 years. February 2003
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